Set in the future – “like, two weeks from now” – Blood Car reveals what happens when a mild-mannered kindergarten teacher invents a car that runs on blood. Why? Because America’s oil reserves are drying up, obviously. Cue arterial spray, sex in cars, and music by Vivaldi. Recalling the notorious Red Asphalt educational films – if they were re-directed by Lloyd Kaufman on Drano cocktails – this sees the post-modern horror genre literally move up a gear. If only Alex Orr had directed Grindhouse. And Doomsday. Oh, the humanity…

It may prove wise to posit that Orr is exploiting the cultural liberties low-blip genre filmmaking has to speak the unspeakable, i.e. The Evil Empire’s™ blood lust for oil. Blood Car is a wonderful post-modern assault, a high vs. low culture brio playing out like a hopped-up Herschell Gordon Lewis riffing on a low-calorie J G Ballard thematic. Alex Orr is a saint: sussed-up, crunked-up and preaching a sanguine mantra for the download era. And there hasn’t been a car wrecking yard-based horror this good since 1987’s stupendously underrated Street Trash. The only way this could get any better is if the car was real, and it ran only on the blood of Uwe Boll.

Screening with Blood Car is the short Web Site Story: a quaint, mouse-shy musical billet-doux to online predatory paedophilia. As sweet and tasteful as sending a candied cock to your brother-in-law’s pre-pubescent daughter, this does for Leonard Bernstein’s West Side Story what Alan Moore is currently doing to James Bond in The Black Dossier. You will never – never! – be able to watch Robert Wise’s film again. Yes, it is that good.